apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
