he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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