He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
