Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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