I am puke
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
