So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
They are going to name an STD after you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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