your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
