I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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