I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
