i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Randomize
