Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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