dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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