we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
