It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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