Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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