hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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