I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
