Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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