kristin has been a bad kristin
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize