if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
