You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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