He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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