wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
