If i come over, it means nothing
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize