I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
