The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize