I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
