I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
