hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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