Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
