She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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