Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
