umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
