What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
