i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
