hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she told me i tasted like america
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
