When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
