he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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