I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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