Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You made out with two different species that night
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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