That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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