dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
