While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
