Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
