i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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