we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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