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You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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