We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
