I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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