he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize