Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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