Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
