Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
