when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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