Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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(513): View more from Ohio

just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already

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(914): View more from New York

She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...

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(816): View more from Missouri

You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"

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(954): View more from Florida

so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine

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(248): View more from Michigan

I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands

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(847): View more from Illinois

also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.

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