Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
