new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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