Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
