I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
