She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
