The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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