no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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