That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
