I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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