Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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