if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
