You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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