Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day

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(281): View more from Texas

ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)

(214): View more from Texas

Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.

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(410): View more from Maryland

we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.

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(773): View more from Illinois

grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins

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(813): View more from Florida

Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”

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