I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
