Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
