I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
