p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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